The temple

Since moving to Orem I've started taking every chance I can to go to the temple. At very least once a week. It's such a blessing to have the temple so close and to have so many people I can go to the temple with.

A little self discovery this last week was my blessing. As most who know me know I have a fear of being alone the rest of my life. I've never dated much and therefore fear that I will never get married. This last week in the temple I noticed every time I'm in the temple I just have a comforting feeling that it will all be okay, that Heavenly Father has it figured out. Now I know that doesn't mean I will get married anytime soon, just that there is a plan and with Christ by my side I can do anything God would have me do, even if that meant waiting to be married. Not that I want that but it's a blessing to have the comfort that God is in control if I let Him be. 

My goal in posting this blessing is to help me believe in it. While in the temple I have that peace and comfort and by writing it down and rereading it often I hope to remember that feeling all the time. God loves us and knows what's best, He can see down the road and we need to trust He will lead us to the greatest happiness! Sometimes we just need to be reminded to "believe in the blessings" 

New Job

Tomorrow I start my new job as a teachers aide in a special needs pre-k morning class and in the afternoon kindergarten class. This tender mercy was very unexpected and to put things in perspective I'll have to give some back story.

When I got home from my mission life was... crazy to say the least. I will admit it was all my fault, but that is another story. Anywho, I decided I didn't know how much I wanted to use my degree in Elementary Education, I have my teaching license but I wasn't sure if that's what I should be doing for the rest of my life. So here I was in lots of school debt (extra because I wasn't going to be teaching so that meant I'd have to pay back my T H Bell, which is a loan incentive program, basically they pay for my school and I don't have to pay it back if I teach in Utah for the equal amount of years I used the TILP but if not it turns into a basic loan), now super confused as to what I was doing with my life, and stressed out of my mind about everything I could stress about. But the task in front of me was to get a job, so I started applying mostly for receptionist/ secretarial positions. All the while thinking what was I going to do with my life. So the last 3 weeks I've been interviewing, a lot, but nothing seemed to come though or even feel right. I had several interviewers tell me I should reconsider teaching, that I'd make a great teacher. After about 4 of those I thought "Okay Heavenly Father I get it!" It was then I started to consider maybe I should teach and of course as it would go the Spirit worked on me. My confusion started to clear, my fear of never getting out of debt disappeared (because I had been considering going back to school which meant more debt), and the anxiousness of not have a purpose or knowing where my life was going eased. 

I was able then to make a plan.  Going from a mission to home life is hard but now I have a plan and I know it's what the Lord would have me do. c: 

I can say that if at 20 I was to look forward in my life I would have never imaged that I would be where I am. True I'm not married (which has been the only really goal I've had in my life) but I have my degree and I'm  returned missionary (I love that I can say that!!!!) I wouldn't trade the experiences I've had to be married. I know that those experiences will bless me in my life now and even more so in my future family. It just goes to show Heavenly Father knows best. I fight much of the time, but my heart is always praying to be open to His will and because of my honest desire to do and be what He wants he pushes past my stubbornness  to help me find His will. His ways are not my ways, but His ways are always best! 

So to tie this all into my new job. My new job will help me get back into teaching and give me references that I can use as I apply for jobs. When I got the job it was only for 12 hours a week in the pre-k class but I took it because they were morning hours but when I went in to fill out my paperwork they offered me 14 more hours in the afternoon kindergarten class (another tender mercy). 

I feel like this might have been a little scattered but the point of all of it was we have a loving Heavenly Father who is patient and will wait for us to figure things out but is always there to help us do so. I know this to be true for I've seen it many times over and I'm sure I'll continue to see it. 

Life is definitely not flowers and lollipops now, I'm still worried about plenty, but I've been given that spark of hope to keep me going and exercising my faith and that is a blessing to believe in!

Here we go again

Here's to starting a new blog. The last time I tried blogging I really enjoyed it but looking back at former posts I concluded I need to be more positive and one thing I learned on  my mission is to give credit where credit is due. (for those of you who chose to read this I will probably mention my mission a lot because it has changed me and now defines me) Every day I see the little miracles/tender mercies/ blessings that Heavenly Father chooses to give me and I feel it's high time I share them. Also on my mission I saw how sharing the blessings I could see blessed those around me. Not because I'm anything amazing but because that is how the Lord works sometimes. So for any who read this I hope that your testimony is strengthen and that you too can "believe in the blessings"!