New Job

Tomorrow I start my new job as a teachers aide in a special needs pre-k morning class and in the afternoon kindergarten class. This tender mercy was very unexpected and to put things in perspective I'll have to give some back story.

When I got home from my mission life was... crazy to say the least. I will admit it was all my fault, but that is another story. Anywho, I decided I didn't know how much I wanted to use my degree in Elementary Education, I have my teaching license but I wasn't sure if that's what I should be doing for the rest of my life. So here I was in lots of school debt (extra because I wasn't going to be teaching so that meant I'd have to pay back my T H Bell, which is a loan incentive program, basically they pay for my school and I don't have to pay it back if I teach in Utah for the equal amount of years I used the TILP but if not it turns into a basic loan), now super confused as to what I was doing with my life, and stressed out of my mind about everything I could stress about. But the task in front of me was to get a job, so I started applying mostly for receptionist/ secretarial positions. All the while thinking what was I going to do with my life. So the last 3 weeks I've been interviewing, a lot, but nothing seemed to come though or even feel right. I had several interviewers tell me I should reconsider teaching, that I'd make a great teacher. After about 4 of those I thought "Okay Heavenly Father I get it!" It was then I started to consider maybe I should teach and of course as it would go the Spirit worked on me. My confusion started to clear, my fear of never getting out of debt disappeared (because I had been considering going back to school which meant more debt), and the anxiousness of not have a purpose or knowing where my life was going eased. 

I was able then to make a plan.  Going from a mission to home life is hard but now I have a plan and I know it's what the Lord would have me do. c: 

I can say that if at 20 I was to look forward in my life I would have never imaged that I would be where I am. True I'm not married (which has been the only really goal I've had in my life) but I have my degree and I'm  returned missionary (I love that I can say that!!!!) I wouldn't trade the experiences I've had to be married. I know that those experiences will bless me in my life now and even more so in my future family. It just goes to show Heavenly Father knows best. I fight much of the time, but my heart is always praying to be open to His will and because of my honest desire to do and be what He wants he pushes past my stubbornness  to help me find His will. His ways are not my ways, but His ways are always best! 

So to tie this all into my new job. My new job will help me get back into teaching and give me references that I can use as I apply for jobs. When I got the job it was only for 12 hours a week in the pre-k class but I took it because they were morning hours but when I went in to fill out my paperwork they offered me 14 more hours in the afternoon kindergarten class (another tender mercy). 

I feel like this might have been a little scattered but the point of all of it was we have a loving Heavenly Father who is patient and will wait for us to figure things out but is always there to help us do so. I know this to be true for I've seen it many times over and I'm sure I'll continue to see it. 

Life is definitely not flowers and lollipops now, I'm still worried about plenty, but I've been given that spark of hope to keep me going and exercising my faith and that is a blessing to believe in!